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[Jan. 28th, 2005|01:46 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
As I set off tomorow for my own trials, and reflection. I hope to return healthy and rejuvinatied, I'll miss you and hope you all are well. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 28th, 2005|01:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  rejuvenated | ] |
A women was having a personal reflection and jesus was saying "he has always been there look in the sand", and she looked and saw two sets of footprints turn into one, and she said to him "you had left me" and he replied "no this is when I had to carry you, threw your personal hell, till you returned to me". |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|08:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
Today i didn't even go to sleep to 7 in the morning. Then I chilled with justin from 2:30 till 3. Then I went out to eat with my mom and went to Sam's club and bought this hugs thing of tampons for when i go away. SO EMBARRRESING> well ttyl. peace |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|11:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | jewel | ] |
When shit pops off, how do i know that the people who say they are going to be there for me .. really will be?
I walked around my school today, wondering... do these people even know who they are? i mean some of the kids at our school where those school jackets like high school is where you life stops. Like because they were those colors there a step up from all the rest. I sat on my bus today, all the way home silent, wondering that. wondering in 10 years are my friends today going to be there. The answer probly not.
Sometimes I wish that i could see into the future, and no without question where my life is headed. I know what i am supposed to do, to some degree. Go to school, get an education, get a job, get a house,get married, have a family. but it just seems like i am doing what everyone else is expectiing of me. I mean i do what I am told, but i wonder sometimes what would happen if. i stop going to school, and trying to do my best to please my family, my teachers and even some of my friends, I wonder what people would think of me then.
some days I wish i could see my own funeral to be able to see how people react if the people that I have problems with would come out of respect, or if the bitches who make fun of me and act like i don't exsit, would come and cry. What people would say about me? I have so many random thoughts just floating inside my head, and none of them can be answered because there not a answer me kind of question. There are so many different answers to the things i want to know. Sometimes i wish i had a peice of paper that told me how to live my life that everything was already planned out for me. That i know what would happen to me and where it was supposed to lead. And maybe thats supposed to be the fun in life is making your own destiny. But it just seems like my own destiny has been taken away from me, and put into the hands of someone else. but maybe all along that was my destiny, to have someone take it away from me and make it there own.
Random shit keeps poping in my head, I think i am going insane. all this shit right now is getting to me. I don't want to leave, I miss so many things i used to have, i miss the normal family i used to have, shits fallin apart all around me, and just when i pick the last peice up and put it back in place, even more comes falling down. I don't know what to do anymore what to say what to think, Im about to be like fuck it and let live have its way with me and when its done, see where im left.
well goodnight everyone.
~kandi |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|11:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | exhausted | ] |
We have succeded in recuting a new livejournal user. Even though she did it by herself. But anyway. Today was my last day at Brhs. Amen! Even though I am going to miss the few people i love there. I'm stright with not going there for 3 months. I leave friday for PA. I am very scared, more of coming back then going, I have a feeling that the few friends i have when i leave are going to leave me while i am away. If this happens, im screwed,because sometimes at the end of the day, my friends are the only people who keep me sain. Today I saw matt and Reggie, the came ova for like an hour. Reggie was being a dick to me because I told him I was talking to someone aka "I HAVE A MAN" But it was whateva. They left and my ass went to sleep. Tomorow I am chillin with Justing so, KERRY if you would like to stop by and what not to say wut up.. 12 - 3 is when he will be here. If not come by anyway so we can chill.
Well I will update yall lata on boring shit that yall don't care about! |
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| The 1st |
[Jan. 17th, 2005|08:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
Hey guyz,
This is my new journal. I figured I should start a new one just incase that when i go awaya I may be able to use the internet. SO, I could talk to you ,, well mostly conner, sense she is the only one i acctually talk too. but yeah THats whats up! Till tomorow. |
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kizzdbythelicho's journal